Meet My Random Friends… and Enemy

There’s a cafe a few yards from my house and in it usually sits this woman who works at the local Natwest Bank. She has breakfast there every day while she waits for the bank to open. If I walk past the cafe and she isn’t there, it usually means I’m running late. We always make eye contact but never smile at each other. Maybe I’ll say hello tomorrow.

There’s a guy that works at my local train station. He is every girl’s friend. Woman wrapper. Sometimes his friendliness crosses the invisible boundary I have set before him. He once tried to hug me. I don’t even know his name! I started to avoid him. During the ash cloud debacle I didn’t see him for weeks. I started to worry. Had he been fired? Was he ill? Just as I considered asking one of his colleagues, he re-appeared. I was so relieved to see him, I hugged him! He’d been stuck abroad. Absence made my heart grow fonder. I have now gone back to avoiding him.

There’s a guy that works at the Marks and Spencer near my office. He quite rapidly graduated from making eye contact to saying hello to shaking my hand to hugging me to air kisses. None of these actions I sanctioned mind you. He once gave me a free croissant. For that reason and that reason alone, I’m all smiles when I see him. I never know what awoof (freebie) is coming my way next. After all, it’s not just food, it’s M&S food!

There’s a guy who works in the kitchen at the McDonalds near my office. I went through a phase when I had their pancake and sausage every morning and now as soon as I walk in, the guy grins and shouts ‘pancake and sausage coming right up!’ Never mind that I might fancy a McMuffin instead. I never have the heart to correct him so whether I like it or not, pancake and sausage it always is. Bless his heart.

Now there’s one woman I don’t like at all. She always stands in my spot on the platform and like that isn’t bad enough, when she sees me coming, she grins smugly. ‘Ha ha, got here first!’ She really annoys me. One day I decided to teach her a lesson. I got to the station and there she was in my spot. No problem.  I made a point of standing really close to her. Close enough to whisper in her ear. She was visibly uncomfortable. She moved a little to get away from me. I moved even closer. She moved some more. When I was standing directly opposite the middle seats of the bench on the parallel platform, I stopped. ‘Aha, now who’s in front of the door? Muhaha!’

I haven’t seen her in my spot since.

 xxxMEE

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8 comments

  1. LOL by the sound of it, it would appear that:

    The guy that works at your local train station, FANCIES YOU, or anything else in a skirt.

    The guy who works in the kitchen at the McDonalds near your office, FANCIES you too.

    The guy that works at the Marks and Spencer near your office, is not just a regular dude, he’s a Marks and Spencer employee!!! And he FANCIES you too.

    As for the woman on the platform, LOL what can I tell you she MUST be OYIBO!!!

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  2. Building on Big brother’s comments, it would appear that:

    The lady in the cafe might, indeed, only be seen by you. I would advise that you ask a friend (preferably one you trust) to walk with you in the morning, then casually point out the woman in the cafe, my bet is she will give you a bewildered look.

    The guy at your train station fancies you, and may in fact be the very same one featured on crime stoppers, ash cloud ko, ash cloud ni..talk to the transport police at your train station.

    The guy M&S definitely fancies you, but unfortunately may soon be out of a job when they find out his till doesn’t add up one time too many.

    The guy at macdonalds fancies you and is a forward monkey. He should be told off.

    And the woman on the platform, she may very well be the reason MTN service is crap in Nigeria!

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  3. Be gentle with the woman at d platform she might not hav many friends. Probably her best friend is a cat. Trust me I know them. Lol.

    D MnS guy sounds like a stalker to me.

    D guy at station I think u hav a soft touch 4 him otherwise u wudnt hug him. Lol

    I agree with ibiem on d woman at d cafe shop. Her version is just 2 hilarious. Lol.

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  4. Ibiems comment is hilarious…”The lady in the cafe might, indeed, only be seen by you”…lwkmd

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  5. Ehh Mary you’re clearly a creature of habit. Very easy to stalk, and even set up for a murder.
    Watch enough CSI and Law and Order and you’ll know what’s up.
    Hopefully one day the station guy won’t follow you home one night without u knowing

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  6. ..I made a point of standing really close to her. Close enough to whisper in her ear. She was visibly uncomfortable. She moved a little to get away from me. I moved even closer. She moved some more. When I was standing directly opposite the middle seats of the bench on the parallel platform, I stopped. ‘Aha, now who’s in front of the door? Muhaha!’

    I haven’t seen her in my spot since.

    I laughed till tears started falling..I stumbled on your blog this afternoon and I really love your style of writing. Been reading since I got home from work and I have enjoyed every single post so far. Please right a novel, you are funny, witty, mischievous….xoxo

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  7. Welcome again! I am working on that novel…or so I’ve been saying for the last 5 years! Someday soon by God’s grace, I’ll complete it. Thanks for reading x

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