There’s a cafe a few yards from my house and in it usually sits this woman who works at the local Natwest Bank. She has breakfast there every day while she waits for the bank to open. If I walk past the cafe and she isn’t there, it usually means I’m running late. We always make eye contact but never smile at each other. Maybe I’ll say hello tomorrow.
There’s a guy that works at my local train station. He is every girl’s friend. Woman wrapper. Sometimes his friendliness crosses the invisible boundary I have set before him. He once tried to hug me. I don’t even know his name! I started to avoid him. During the ash cloud debacle I didn’t see him for weeks. I started to worry. Had he been fired? Was he ill? Just as I considered asking one of his colleagues, he re-appeared. I was so relieved to see him, I hugged him! He’d been stuck abroad. Absence made my heart grow fonder. I have now gone back to avoiding him.
There’s a guy that works at the Marks and Spencer near my office. He quite rapidly graduated from making eye contact to saying hello to shaking my hand to hugging me to air kisses. None of these actions I sanctioned mind you. He once gave me a free croissant. For that reason and that reason alone, I’m all smiles when I see him. I never know what awoof (freebie) is coming my way next. After all, it’s not just food, it’s M&S food!
There’s a guy who works in the kitchen at the McDonalds near my office. I went through a phase when I had their pancake and sausage every morning and now as soon as I walk in, the guy grins and shouts ‘pancake and sausage coming right up!’ Never mind that I might fancy a McMuffin instead. I never have the heart to correct him so whether I like it or not, pancake and sausage it always is. Bless his heart.
Now there’s one woman I don’t like at all. She always stands in my spot on the platform and like that isn’t bad enough, when she sees me coming, she grins smugly. ‘Ha ha, got here first!’ She really annoys me. One day I decided to teach her a lesson. I got to the station and there she was in my spot. No problem. I made a point of standing really close to her. Close enough to whisper in her ear. She was visibly uncomfortable. She moved a little to get away from me. I moved even closer. She moved some more. When I was standing directly opposite the middle seats of the bench on the parallel platform, I stopped. ‘Aha, now who’s in front of the door? Muhaha!’
I haven’t seen her in my spot since.