Note to MEE et al: 40 dernier does not equal opaque!
As I type this, I’m on a train staring at some girl’s butt cheeks. She’s wearing 40 dernier tights (I know these things), a long multi-coloured vest (let no one tell me it’s a dress!), a grey cardigan and a cropped jacket. Pity that none of the 4 layers she’s wearing is long or thick enough to cover her pink-pant-clad behind.
Why oh why do we do these things?!
One day last week, I went to M&S on my lunch break. As I was leaving, I noticed a member of staff clocking off her shift. Like my friend on the train, she was also wearing 40 dernier tights, a teeny weeny dress and short jacket. She ran ahead of me and that was when my eyes beheld her in all her glory. In her rush to don her jacket, she had hiked up the back of her dress…or what there was of it. At size 18-20, there was a whole lot of bottom on display.
Throw in the fact that she was wearing a thong for good measure.
Unfortunately for her she was running and I couldn’t catch up with her to inform her of the rapid per second depreciation of her bride price. I guess what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.
I understand why people do these things. On days when I’m feeling too sexy for my skin, I pull out my black Lycra mini skirt (watch out fellas!). I also convince myself that my 40 dernier tights are opaque enough should there be any incidents or accidents. When I leave my house, the hem of the skirt is halfway down my thighs but by the time I get to the station, it’s just about covering my behind. I spend the whole day tugging and tugging at it. On those days I conveniently forget how much I insult girls I see doing the same.
‘If she’s not comfortable why did she wear it?!’
‘Don’t pull it down o, leave it! Abi you wanted to wear mini?!’
I usually return home vowing never to wear the skirt again. A few weeks later I’ll see the skirt in my wardrobe and think, ‘I haven’t worn this skirt in a while.’
It’s only after I’ve left the house I remember why.