The Voice In My Head

My conscience has a voice and its voice is getting louder.

For those of you that know me well, sharrap (shut up) is my answer to everything.

‘How are you?’ Sharrap.

‘Where have you been?’ Sharrap.

‘I’ve missed you.’ Sharrap.

It’s not an attempt to offend or be rude. Believe it or not, it’s an affectionate term in my personal vocabulary. Yep, I’m weird like that. The people I do it to know I’m clowning around but even then, a well said sharrap hits the spot and joke or not, it can sting like a bee. You cannot begin to understand how shocked I was when I erm, affectionately told a friend to sharrap the other day AND felt bad!

This conscience of mine is really shaking things up.

On the one hand the crescendo of its voice is a good thing because it means my moral compass (whatever that means) is still functioning. If no one else will help me differentiate between right and wrong, my conscience will. I’ll become a better person for it.

On the other hand, it’s driving me crazy!

The other day I walked into a H&M store and was bargain hunting in the sale section. I spotted a top that had been taken off its hanger and tossed over the rack.

‘Hang the top back on the rail.’

That wasn’t too hard to do. I did it.

A few yards ahead, I spotted a couple of dresses that had found their way from the rack to the floor.

‘Go on, be nice. Pick them up.’

‘Okay, but only this once! You don’t really expect me to go round shops picking up after people do you?! Besides the fact that I might make someone redundant, I’m there to shop not work.’

I picked up the dresses, hung them up and carried on bargain hunting. In the far corner of the shop I spotted another rack with a massive sale banner hanging over it. Excited, I headed towards the rack. I was all of five steps away from it when I spotted a heap of clothes on the floor.

‘Don’t even think about it!,’ I screamed at the voice.

It ignored me…blatantly too.  ‘It won’t take anything for you to pick…’

Before it could finish, I turned around and headed out of the store.

‘You won’t let me shop in peace ehn? It’s okay, I’m not shopping again! Aargh!!!’

As I walked out of the shop, I heard it laugh. I wasn’t amused. Irritated I left the mall. It wasn’t till I got home that I understood why it was laughing.

I’d gone ‘shopping’ and returned home with zero shopping bags.

‘Aaah! Ain’t you a clever one?!’

Genius mate, genius!

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