Release Your Inhibitions

Today I encountered a mentally unbalanced man at my local train station. His head was adorned with the largest headphones I’ve ever seen. He was singing at the top of his lungs and gyrating like a dog on heat. Ever so often, he would twitch and itch like a crack head gone cold turkey. Or maybe he’s plagued by an illness of sorts. Whatever the case, he was more than a little frightening.

I should have been scared but I wasn’t. I was fascinated…and jealous. Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to sing and dance on that very platform but chickened out for fear of making a fool of myself?! Some days I sit on the train listening to songs that make me want to throw my hands in the air, wriggle my hips and drop down and get my eagle on.

I never have.

I’m much too reserved and self conscious for that. My dear friend Stinkus on the other hand is seriously lacking in decorum. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen her aim her invisible machine gun, open her mouth and drop down in a public space. The girl is an embarrassment to me.

I envy her lack of inhibition though.

There are so many things I wish I could do that social etiquette, self consciousness and to put it plainly, a lack of balls, prevent me from doing.

For example, I’m standing in front of a hairless man on the train at the moment. There isn’t a single strand of hair on his head. I kid you not. I’m dying to rub his head but something tells me he won’t be amused.

There’s another guy sitting in front of me wearing a shirt that is buttoned up to his eyebrows. He looks like an inmate in an asylum. I just want to undo a few buttons and tell him to relax a little.

The woman next to him is carrying a handbag the size of a black bin liner. There’s also a giant rucksack nestled between her legs. I desperately want to ask her what kpanti (junk) she’s logging around London in rush hour.

The guy standing next to me is reading a book. He’s wearing really thick gloves though so each time he tries to turn a page, wahala (trouble). Have you ever tried to turn a page while wearing thick gloves? It makes zero sense. My friend take the thing off and stop elbowing me! I can’t say that though. I have to smile politely and say ‘it’s okay,’ each time he assaults me.

Whose idea was this decorum thing?! Sigh.

Advertisements

27 comments

  1. Lol. Please o, if your inclination is to rub the bald heads of strangers, I suggest you keep your inhibitions firmly in place. 🙂 Nice post.

    Like

  2. LOL “My friend take the thing off and stop elbowing me!”

    “Decorum,” my dear you’re too far plugged into the “matrix.”

    You should try “not giving a flying fook” about what people think once in a while. You might find it liberating!!

    Like

  3. May I just say what a relief to uncover someone who truly understands
    what they’re talking about on the web. You definitely understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people really need to check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you are not more popular since you most certainly have the gift.

    Like

  4. With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any problems of
    plagorism or copyright violation? My site has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my permission. Do you know any techniques to help prevent content from being stolen? I’d truly appreciate it.
    caszxzcasascascahbgfssxczxcascacasd

    Like

  5. Right now it seems like Expression Engine is the top blogging platform out
    there right now. (from what I’ve read) Is that what you are using on your blog?

    Like

  6. This is really interesting, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look forward to seeking more of your excellent post.
    Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

    Like

  7. I have been reading out lots of your articles and
    i can claim pretty nice stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your blog.

    Like

  8. Greetings from Florida! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to browse your blog
    on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the knowledge you present here and can’t wait to take a look when
    I get home. I’m surprised at how fast your blog
    loaded on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI,
    just 3G .. Anyways, wonderful blog!

    Like

  9. Very great post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog
    and wished to mention that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts.

    In any case I will be subscribing for your rss feed and I hope you write once more soon!

    Like

  10. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession
    capital to assert that I get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I
    achievement you access consistently fast.

    Like

  11. If you are able to count cards (which is a rare feat and one the casino’s disapprove of,
    as you will be asked to leave, should the casino detect this), then it does make the process slightly different, as you need to
    count not only your cards, but the cards of the dealer and the other individuals playing.
    In fact, about the only decision you will have to make is
    whether to bet on the “player” or the “banker. Navigate to the clip
    you saved on your computer, click Add To and choose
    the collection to which you want to add the clip.

    Like

  12. My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find most
    of your post’s to be precisely what I’m looking for.
    Would you offer guest writers to write content
    for you personally? I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on some
    of the subjects you write regarding here. Again,
    awesome web site!

    Like

  13. Hi my loved one! I want to say that this post is awesome, nice
    written and include almost all vital infos.
    I would like to peer more posts like this .

    Like

  14. N’hésitez pas d’accédez sur le profession dans le amour auprès savoir plus à l’égard
    de détails sur derniers services mobiles présenter en tenant la ration de l’opérateur mobile
    et internet Bandyou, subséquemment supposé que
    toi désirez réduire les tarifs en même temps que vos achats lequel ça soit les tarifs en tenant l’achats confirmés téléphones portables ou bénéficiez assurés services mobiles après
    forfaits ou bien abonnement moins cher près votre telephone mobile,
    accédez sur le état après affichez le bon plan alors code promo b you du aussitôt malgré plus d’avantages, affichez la liste certains services imbattables après profitez au maximum inévitables services à l’modalités en tenant l’entrée en même temps que cet été
    2014, alors obtenez votre téléphone mobile moins cher avec établis services
    mobile et internet.

    Like

  15. Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring on other sites?
    I have a blog centered on the same topics you discuss and would really like to have you
    share some stories/information. I know my readers would appreciate
    your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to send me an e-mail.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s