For years, pastors have been speaking of the coming of a messiah. Prophets all around the world have been seeing visions, dreaming dreams, receiving revelations of the birth of a baby boy. “He’s no ordinary kid,” they say, “He is the son of God!” The world is fascinated, it waits with bated breath. They say He is coming to bridge the gulf that has separated God from man. When will he come? How will he come? Will he be British? African? Nah, probably American. Those Yanks seem to have all the luck.
You turn on your TV one morning. You’re surprised to see your neighbour sitting next to Bill Turnbull and Sian Williams on the BBC Breakfast sofa. “What on earth is she doing there?” you wonder. You soon find out. She says she’s pregnant. You’re in shock. You know she has a boyfriend but she’s always claimed they are both celibate. You certainly didn’t have her down as the type that was getting her groove on. Oh well, it really isn’t a big deal. These days, everyone has children out of wedlock. It’s not the end of world. Just as you grab the remote to check what Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley are up to on ITV’s Daybreak, you hear your neighbour say she’s still a virgin.
“Huh?! She’s kidding right?!”
She says she has never slept with a man. She claims the Spirit of God impregnated her. You double over with laughter at the look on Sian and Bill’s faces. Ever the professionals they are trying not to laugh at this psychotic neighbour of yours. They are finding it really difficult though. Sian’s face has turned the same shade of red as the Breakfast sofa and Bill looks like he’s about to have an aortic aneurysm.
“Really Mary,” you snigger at the image of your neighbour as the camera goes in for a close up of her face, “are you that desperate for attention?!” She repeats the claim. She says an angel appeared to her to tell her she was going to be impregnated by the Holy Spirit. Sian and Bill give in. They burst into fits of laughter. Mary looks pained but she ignores their laughter. The angel told her she is blessed amongst women. ‘You’re blessed alright,” you laugh, “blessed with an over active imagination!”
Just when you think the story can’t get any worse, her boyfriend, Joseph walks onto the set. He looks ready to murder Sian and Bill. He sits next to Mary on the sofa and wraps his arms around her. She bursts into tears. You can see the steam escaping from his ears. He turns to the camera and speaks directly into it. “I know how difficult this story is to believe. I didn’t believe it either when she first told me. I was going to end the relationship but an angel appeared to me too. He confirmed everything Mary had told me. I believed him and I also believe her. This child, our child, is special. He is the son of God.”
“Oh come on dude! If you knocked her up, you knocked her up! What’s with the farce?!”
You’ve heard enough. “Bunch of jokers.” You wonder how much of your hard earned taxes the BBC paid them to come on the show and tell their ridiculous story. Irritated, you turn off your television, grab your travelcard and keys and dash out of the house. Some people might like easy money but you are proud you work hard for yours. As soon as you step into your office, the first words that come out of your mouth are ‘Did anyone see those jokers on Breakfast this morning?!’
You’ve got to admit, the Christmas story is bizarre. The more I think about it, the more inconceivable it is. When I read the bible I identify with the Jews. I feel sorry for them and I’m grateful I wasn’t alive in that time. Heaven knows I would have been the first person to mock Jesus. Where they really expected to believe that a poor virgin was miraculously impregnated by the Holy spirit, the result of which was the conception of the messiah?!
Imagine for a second that the story is true. That Mary really did miraculously fall pregnant. That she really did birth the saviour of the world. That this God really does exist. That He sent His son to the earth to experience human life so that he could better understand things from man’s perspective. That He sent that same son to die to atone for every sin that every man has committed and will ever commit.
It’s either an amazing piece of fiction or a mind blowing truth.