I Really Must Discipline My Body Parts

This morning the hunger that visited me was like none I’ve ever entertained before. I tried. I tried really hard to banish it and was doing well till a colleague unravelled a chicken and bacon sandwich. Before I could stop them, my feet fled from my office building and sought asylum in Burley’s, a sandwich shop a few yards from my office.

Most of the ready made sandwiches on display were the equivalent of eating starch and banga soup for breakfast. Hungry though I was, I was conscious of the extra pounds I’m trying to get rid off.

“Do you do made to order sandwiches?” I asked the guy behind the counter.

“Yes we do. what would you like?”

“A ham sandwich please.” I didn’t want anything too heavy.

Just as he was about to pop the sanwhich in the toaster, I spotted a plate of avocados.


“Can you please add some avocado to that?” But avocado without chicken and bacon?

“And some chicken and bacon too.”

Hmn, since he was going to toast it, he might as well chuck in some cheese.

“And cheese please, cheddar” I added.

I compared my ‘light’ sandwich to the others staring at me through the display glass. They looked malnourished compared to mine.

The guy gave me a ticket and directed me to pay at the till.

“That’s quite a sandwich you’ve designed,” the girl at the till joked.

Shut up jo, who asked you?!

I laughed politely.

“That’s £7.20 please.”

I caught my jaw before it dropped. I’d avoided the ready made sandwiches because of the calories AND becasue at £4.95 a piece, I thought they were over priced. I stared at the coin purse I’d snatched up as my feet were bailing on me. I knew I only had £4 in there.

I began to pat my pockets in despair.

“O dear me, I’ve left my card at work! I’m so sorry. Hold that ticket, my office is only a few doors away. I’ll be back in 2 minutes!”

Before the girl could respond, my ever fleeing feet raced out of Burley and into Bagelmania where my incorrigible mouth ordered a plain bagel before I could stop it.

“What would you like in it?”

“Just butter please.”

“That’s 89 pence please.”

My proud hands spilled the contents of my coin purse on the counter before handing over the requested amount, lest anyone thought I couldn’t afford a measly bagel.


Waila Caan


While writing this, I tried to find the official term used to describe someone who makes sandwiches. Apparently they are called creative deli professionals or sandwich artists or delicatessen specialists or sandwich artisans or sandwich designers. No comment.


  1. I am goin to contact dat shop n tell them I kno d lady dat left without paying.


    I am sure they get that a lot.
    7 for sandwich dat hunger wud disappear.


  2. @iyasosstuff: Bad me ehn?! *blush*

    @Abi: I do indeed but not for much longer. Phew!

    @ Ruth: If I’d had my card on me I would have just paid up and learnt my lesson. That’s the last time I customise a sandwich outside of Subway!


  3. LMAO! that’s hilarious MEE…. so that mean you would never go back to Burley’s for fear of being recognised as the lady that ordered the famous sandwich but never paid for it? lol £7.20 sha! that must have been “some” sandwich!lol


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