Ladies and gentlemen, Ramsey Street has come to London and parked itself on what used to be my street. With each passing day, my neighbours are becoming nosier and it’s getting under my skin. My landlord spends all his time these days sending out emails to everyone in my building and the emails always include the words neighbour and complain.
The first time a neighbour complained, it was because a ‘to let’ sign had been sitting outside our building for “too long” and was “tarnishing the image of the street.”
The second time a neighbour complained it was because there was a chipped tile on the path leading to our main door and dear neighbour thought it was a safety hazard that needed to be urgently addressed. You need to know my house and have seen the tile in question to understand how silly that complaint was. That pathway is only used by our property and the chip in the tile was so tiny, another tenant and I had to get down on our hands and knees to see it!
The third time a neighbour complained, it was because she thought there were too many Sky dishes attached to our roof and it made our building “look hideous.”
After that complaint, I stopped reading emails from my landlord. Group emails from him always mean there’s a problem. My policy is that if the matter involves me, he will call (which he does). I mean, what is my neighbours business with how many sky dishes are on our building and if Mr Landlord didn’t want that, surely he would have put up a communal dish on the property, no?!
Yesterday I got an email from him that I should have ignored but the first sentence caught my eye and I was too stupefied to hit delete.
“I received a complaint that the green bin is being used for normal rubbish by the neighbours.”
Landlord’s phrasing was a bit dodgy but what he meant was that he received a complaint from the neighbours that our green bin is being used for normal rubbish. For those of you unfamiliar with English rubbish etiquette (excuse the pun), green bins are for compost and biodegradable waste and not domestic waste. Yes, there is the possibility that my landlord could be fined by the council (after official warnings) because they feign concern about environmental issues but that was beside the point. I couldn’t get over the fact that some nosy neighbour had been spying on our green bin! What kind of loser behaviour is that?! They gave a detailed description of the contents of the bin which means they not only opened it, they rummaged through it. I can’t, can’t, CAN’T get over it.
I chope our bins are all they go through because if I ever get burgled again, I am so blaming them! Clearly they see all so if they can’t tell me who robbed me, I’ll have to assume they are guilty!
Rant over. Thanks for indulging me.