Tales From The Underground: Bibeli Mimo

Last night I hopped on a Northern line train at heading for High Barnet (from Angel) round about 8.45pm. I was exhausted. I’d had a crazy busy day at work and then had to sit in a French class for 2hours. I got on the train and dug out a pen and my copy of the Evening Standard from my bag.

Side note: Am I the only one addicted to crosswords?!

Just as the train departed Camden Town, a woman’s voice filled the carriage.

“Good evening my sisters, good evening my brothers. Jesus loves you. Give your lives to Jesus and everything will be okay for you.”

My eyes widened in disbelief. Y’all know I’m a Christian but even for me it was a shock. I recognised her accent…Yoruba. She carried on with her speech and one by one, the people around her began to stick their earphones in their ears. The woman was sat between two backpackers so I couldn’t see what she looked like.

I put my head down and returned to my crossword.

As the train approached Archway, I heard her voice heading in my direction. I looked around and there was an empty seat next to me. I didn’t need anyone to tell me where she was going to plunk herself next. Sure enough, she sat next to me. I stared at the woman and realised she was old … jerry curls and hush puppies kind of old. I looked down at her hand and read the inscription on the book in her hand, ‘bibeli mimo.’

I smiled to myself and  returned to my crossword.

She started her speech from the top and as she went on, the truth of what she was saying struck me. The woman was dashing out biblical truths for free to her fellow commuters and my irritation ebbed away.

The girl sat across from me piped up.“Excuse me, do you think anyone is listening to you?!”

I sat up. Let nobody harass mama on this train o!

“My sister they are listening.”

“Who is listening? The lady next to you is doing her crossword and everyone else has their earphones in.”

“They might not show it but they are hearing me and the Holy Spirit is working on them. Whether or not they are listening, I am doing the one God sent me to do.”

“Do you only do this on the Northern line?”

“I do it everywhere; bus o, train o, even aeroplane! I have freedom pass so I can travel anywhere.”

I imagined myself on a long haul flight with mama on it and shuddered. I love Jesus and things but…

“Before I only used to preach inside bus and one day police arrest me.  I tell them that it is good as they arrest me, maybe they can help me to see the Queen. The Queen have a message and I don’t know how I can see her to deliver.”

“So God tells you things about the Queen?”

“God can tell me anything about anybody. Like you now, I know you are a strong woman of God. You will become evangelist like me. You have sharp mouth so you can do the job.”

Clearly mama didn’t need my help. LMAO.

“I don’t think so! What if people don’t like what you’re saying.  Aren’t you scared?”

“Scared of what? I don’t fear anybody. If you are preaching to people and they like you then you are not doing your job. They cannot like you, did they like Jesus?”

“I guess.”

“One day in the train I meet a gay. He started to challenge me when I was preaching so I ask him what is the problem. He say he is a gay and I said, ‘ehen?! A gay is a person, Jesus love you!’”

By this time, the carriage was almost empty and the few people on it were laughing their heads off.

As the train approached my stop, the girl sitting across from me got up.

“It was nice to meet you. Good luck with your evangelism.”

“It’s nice to meet you too my sister. My name is Gladys, are you glad?”

I almost passed out laughing on the platform. Entertainment.com!

 

xXx

Waila

 

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17 comments

  1. aaaaaw!..I love mama!!!..My name is gladys..are u glad!!!!lolol!!!
    Bless her sweet heart!

    Like

  2. A gay is a person 🙂 …..really “A gay”

    I guess people were listening after all since they all joined in the laughter.

    Like

  3. lol… i love Mama…love the girl gan sef for speaking up, at least she knows not all Christians are gay bashers.
    but why mama de lie na… ‘Give your lives to Jesus and everything will be okay for you’ let’s talk the truth the way people go understand am…
    but then sha, i don’t do even a quarter of what she does so i’m gonna sharrap…

    Like

  4. Ha ha ha ha. “My name is Gladys, are you glad?” That’s a classic line right there. Lol.
    And lol @ Let nobody harass mama on this train o!
    Too funny.

    Like

  5. I read post on my phone and I laughed out loud. I’m sure people would have been wondering what’s up with me. I love this woman. She’s not taking any prisoners. That’s the kind of guts we need. But you wrote this so well.

    Like

  6. “God can tell me anything about anybody. Like you now, I know you are a strong woman of God. You will become evangelist like me. You have sharp mouth so you can do the job.”

    that did it for me!!!!….hilarious!!!

    Like

  7. “‘ehen?! A gay is a person, Jesus love you!’”

    Gba o! haaahhahaaaa

    Ok, amma call ya OSAYI too :* love this! Love ya tu! And I’m glad

    Like

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