Midnight Snacking

This summer is proving very interesting. Why? My cousin, KFC, is spending his entire summer holiday holed up with me in my studio flat.

I’m rubbish at this big sister thing. The role is new to me because I am the youngest child in my family.  Am I supposed to laugh when he tells me about the first time he got drunk at school or tell him off for drinking irresponsibly? Am I supposed to encourage him to explore the sights and sounds of London or keep him under lock and key to avoid his overprotective father’s wrath? The thing tire me.

In the early hours of Monday morning, I woke up to the sound of my flat door shutting. It took me a few minutes to realise he’d left the flat. I checked the time, 4.30am. Where the heck was he going at that time of the morning?!

I grabbed my phone and called him.

“Where do you think you’re going to at this time of the morning?!”

“Huh, what do you mean?”

“Don’t ask me silly questions my friend! Where are you?!”

“I’m at home!”

I looked at my telephone screen. I’d accidentally called my friend Kay. After apologising profusely, I hung up and called KFC.

“Where do you think you’re going at this time of the morning?!”

“I’m going for a walk, I need some fresh air.”

“At what time of the day?! My friend reverse yourself and don’t be silly!”

“But it’s already morning.”

“I said reverse yourself! Who goes for a walk at 4.30 in the morning?!”

10mins later (yes, I was checking) he walked through the door carrying a plastic bag. He went out to buy a midnight snack?! This is someone that ate two plates of jollof rice and a packet of popcorn just before he went to bed. There were plenty of things I wanted to say to him but I only had one hour before I had to wake up. I decided not to waste my sleeping time.

“Boy, don’t ever pull this crazy stunt again!”

I went back to sleep.

When I was leaving for work in the morning I noticed an empty sandwich carton, the empty packet of popcorn, two dirty plates and a couple of gigantic mugs next to his seeping head.

Heaven help his waist line.





  1. hmmm, i’m sure this doesn’t apply to KFC, well i hope it doesn’t but it sounds like a serious case of the munchies. If that were me, i’d search his bags and smell his breath and be extra cautious that dude hasn’t been experimenting with some controlled substances.


  2. Lol. It’s nothing like that. The boy just likes food and is constantly chomping on something or the other. Plus his sleeping patterns are abnormal so I guess he’s bound to get hungry in the middle of the night while watching those japanese cartoons he’s obsessed with!


  3. His name is KFC, what do you expect. Lol. Nah, thats the joy of London. You can sneak out for a kebab, curry or a light snack in the dead of the night when you have a craving. Besides the boy is on holidays. What if he decided to hit the West End nko.


  4. LOL..my waistline is not expanding anywhere!! I just having a weird habit of eating when I’m bored!! and I cover up for the eating with exercising, well, not exactly here but back in school !! 😛


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