If You Must Date A Friend’s Sibling, LET THEM KNOW!

Thankfully, I’ve never had to deal with the trauma that arises when your friend and sibling decide they want to fall in love, like, lust or whatever else takes their fancy. Good friend that I am, I though it wouldn’t be fair to let my friend CrawCraw escape the experience.

CrawCraw had a brother, Bobo, that all the girls in Lagos wanted a piece of. I’d never really paid attention to her brother till I met him at a bar. I had just finished my SSCE exams and my partner in crime, Tikka Masala and I went to A-Bar (does it still exist?) in Lagos to hang out with another friend. Just as we were leaving, we spotted this light skinned cute(ish) cheeky looking chap walking into the bar. He looked familiar but I couldn’t remember where I’d met him till Tikka Masala pointed out he was CrawCraw’s brother. Good friend that I am, I wandered over to say hello.

“Hi. Are you CrawCraw’s brother?”

“Yeah, I am. Are you her friend?”

“Yes. My name’s Waila.”

“Bobo, nice to meet you.”

Before I knew it he was asking for my number. To be honest, I’m not sure I found him attractive. I was just flattered that the guy the whole of Lagos was killing themselves over was asking for my number. Neither of us had a pen and it was before the advent of mass mobile technology in Nigeria.

“Just tell me your number, I’ll remember it.”

I thought there was no way he would so I was stunned when I got a phone call from him the following day. The phone calls carried on steadily for a week and then came the visits. I didn’t breathe a word of it to CrawCraw whom I saw every other day. We were both scouting for prom dates and shoes and spent quite a bit of time together.

One day, I found myself in the area where Bobo lives and decided to pay him a visit. I knew CrawCraw was out because I’d spoken to her earlier in the day. I’d been at theirs for a couple of hours when the door opened and in walked CrawCraw. At first she was excited to see me, thinking I’d been waiting for her. I’m not sure what gave it away but I knew when the penny dropped.  The look on her face suddenly changed. I had no clue what to say to her and she was silenced by the shock. I can’t remember what happened after that but I must have left and gone home.

We carried on being friends but didn’t speak about it till a couple of years later when we were at College together. We were having a conversation about guys we liked and relationships when she suddenly exclaimed;

“You, well done o! That’s how I came home one day and found you there with my brother!”

Thankfully we had a good laugh about it and she was gracious enough to forgive my bad behaviour. Of all the questions she could have asked me, the one thing she wanted to know was whether or not her brother was a good kisser!  Talk about embarrassing! She didn’t let up till she got an answer.

I’ll say no more.

The moral of the story?  Never do ‘under-g’ with your friend’s sibling. I got away with it but I’ve know it to destroy many a friendship. If you must fall in love, do the right thing and make your friend aware of what’s going on and do what you can to get their blessing.




  1. I hate to be the odd one out, but i’ve never really got what the really issue is. I understand the point of not doing under-G, but my personal expereince, i’ve had two friends that were really awkward about the interests their brothers had in me. I dated my best friend’s twin once and it was pretty alright, although i noticed it was a case of being close to one and not so much the other, but i still don’t get why. In my head, it was a fab opportunity to be even closer, but it was super awkward.

    My brother is a decade older than my mates, so I never had that problem growing up, but personally i wasn’t especially protective of friends being with him later on, if anything i was protective of my friends, warning my brother not to even so much as talk to them if he knew he was looking to catch trips – after all guys would be guys… no?


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