How Not to Lose Weight

One of the downsides to having worked in customer service is that I am well aware that no one gives a flying banana about moaning customers. If you have the misfortune of dealing with an irate customer, you stick your phone on mute and do your crossword while they rant and if you have the even bigger misfortune of dealing with them in person, you imagine them naked and bent over a chair with you flogging them unconscious.

For this very reason, I always try and maintain my cool because there are few things more annoying than going off at someone who you know couldn’t care less.

Where am I going with this?

I dragged my lazy self away from my desk at lunchtime and headed to the gym to Spin the calories away. I changed into my gym gear and kept telling myself “think wedding dress” as I grudgingly approached the studio. I opened the door and alas, the class was full!

How can the class be full when I booked in?! Ko possible!

I marched toward the instructor.

“Excuse me, I’m booked into this class and there’s no bike available for me to use.”

“Are you sure you booked in?”

I gave him a murderous look.

“Are you calling me a liar?”

I’m sorry if you booked in but the class is now full. Let me just ask if everyone else booked in.”

Turning to face the class, he announced, “Did everyone book in for this class?”

Yeah, like the culprit was REALLY going to fess up! They all nodded their coconut heads but at least one of them was lying. I tried to spot the culprit but my powers of discernment failed me.

I was furious but I knew kicking up a fuss in front of their entire class would only make me look like an idiot so I left them in peace and went to unleash the dragon at reception.

“Excuse me, can you please check if I’m booked in to the 1pm Spin class?”

“Yes you are.”

“So is there a reason I turned up to the class and it’s full?”

“Well, it’s now 1:05pm so any extras would have been let in if because you were late.”

“It is now 1:05pm because I have spent the last five minutes debating with the instructor. I turned up on time and the class was full. What’s the point of a booking system if you have no way of monitoring it?”

I’m not even sure why I went to complain at reception. I know the score, no one but me gives a flying banana! She wasn’t about to go and interrupt the class to do a roll call so I knew there was no point to the discussion. Anger blazing, I marched back to the changing room to wear the clothes I’d grudgingly stripped off.

I have this churlish habit of wanting to close accounts and cancel memberships when organisations annoy me but I’m learning to give second, third and tenth chances (but not to you T-Mobile or whatever you call yourself these days!) so I talked myself out of cancelling my membership and headed back to work.

The anger wasn’t abating though and I really needed something to make it go away…so I stopped by the Thai takeaway place and ordered myself some Penang chicken curry and egg fried rice.

It did the trick! *wink*




  1. Shame on you……whatever happened to working out on your own… Elliptical, Bike, treadmill, anything 🙂


  2. umm…as you’re eating thai worevaaas, please remember that you are tying wrapper. thanks!


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