If You’re Suffering, Move to Ghana

London Underground; my lover, companion, friend and most bitter enemy, I miss you. I miss my Finchley Central Station. I miss my friend in the phone shop on the corner of Hervey Close. I miss the Nigerian guy at the station who made it his business to ask why I was running late for work, when I was running late for work. I miss battling the temptation to enter Tesco every time I walk past it. This is what marriage does to people; it makes them move…and miss things!

My new locale isn’t nearly as interesting as Finchley. I haven’t made any shopkeeper friends because there aren’t a lot of shops separating me from the train station. I haven’t made any commuter friends because they don’t look as friendly and the train ride isn’t as interesting because it’s full of married commuters who are by definition, boring. Unlike me, of course.

I only have the pleasure or journeying one stop on the Underground and yesterday, in the time it took for me to get from Moorgate to Bank, I struck gold.

ghana

Two young gentlemen were having a conversation that I couldn’t help over hearing.

“So what are you doing these days bruv?”

“I work in a call centre innit, customer services.”

“Cool cool, I’m still in retail but I’m like a supervisor now.”

“Yeah? Sweet!”

“It’s aight, pays the bills, you get me?”

“Yeah bruv, I know the feeling. I’m so sick of this life. You know, I’ve been thinking of moving to Ghana but I’m too westernised for that shit.”

”You think Ghana’s better than London?”

“You know Kwabena we went to school with yeah, he moved like two years ago and he’s living the life!”

“For real, what’s he doing out there?”

“I’m not sure you know, he’s making bare bucks though. I might just move out there man, I need the good life.”

“You been Ghana before?”

“Yeah yeah, went last year, first time and it was live. They treat you like royalty bruv. You have maids and shit that do everything for you.”

“Seriously?!”

“Trust me bruv, if you want to live the good life, pack your shit and move to Ghana. Africa’s the place to be man. I wanna do it man, I wanna do it bad but I think I’m too westernised for that shit.”

In those two minutes, I struck gold. I too am tired of the life I’m living. Waking up early, going to work, paying bills AND council tax (because you know council tax is not a bill, it is THE bill)…and not being able to afford ordinary Louboutin Pigalles. I don’t like pointy shoes but that’s besides the point. If I cannot buy myself a pair of Pigalles while living the London life, there is only one solution.

I am moving to Ghana… I’m not too westernised for that ‘shit’.

XxX

Waila

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8 comments

  1. ROTFLOL….unfortunately, we hear these conversations every day and even have them ourselves. Truth is, if we were going to move back to Ghana or Nigeria or where ever else we moved from in the first place, we’d have done it long ago. It’s another topic to get the conversation going like the weather….
    Love the “I’m too westernised for that shit”…yea right!

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  2. LOL… He will probably have this conversation 100 times more… and still be too westernised for that ‘shit’..
    Always lovely to read your posts Waila 🙂

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  3. Congratulations…I think…if you’re really relocating. Hey we might cross paths coz i’m planning on moving tooo!!! lol it seems like everybody wants to but we allow the fear of the unknown to immerse us into the stagnant atmosphere of present day London. I should know I work for TFL and the reason why the funny Nigerian guy is soo inquisitive is because you detract him from the remaining 7hrs 59hrs of staring into the abyss, cussing coz the street under his feet definitely ain’t paved with gold. I love London its has brought me up with the mindset to strive and achieve but unfortunately it can no longer deliver on the career and quality of life front. This for me has been vocalized for the last 5yrs,until last week I had not been back to Ghana for 8yrs, (visiting Nigeria the last 2 times….noooooooo i’m not Nigerian lol). Well now I’ve finished studying and its time to follow through with what I’ve been gassing about to my friends and i’m not gonna lie, my armpits are kinda sweaty thinking about it! it’s scary, I was born in Newham mehn what do I know about pounding fufu? The only thing that makes me not ‘too westernised for that shit’, is failure…i refuse to give into fear…coz if I do I will surely go to prison for beating someone coz they don’t know how to bloody touch in and touch out their oystercard!!!

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