interracial relationships


If you know me well you will know that I am desperately seeking a blonde haired, blue eyes, Irish gentleman to walk me down the aisle. I got the fantasy into my head when I was about 13 and now that I’m older, wiser and living in London, the probability of the fantasy becoming a reality has quadrupled! I don’t what but there’s something about the Irish accent that makes my knees give way. I can listen to Ronan Keating and Pierce Brosnan speak for days.  *sigh*

I was round about 18 when my mother and I had an interesting exchange. She went fish shopping and didn’t get the fish monger to clean and cut up her haul.

“Mummy why didn’t you get them to clean the fish?”

“It’s just fish. Stop moaning and come and help me.”

“I’m not touching that stuff. It’s disgusting!”

“If your mother-in-law asks you to clean fish is that what you will tell her?”

“Why would an Irish woman ask me to clean fish?!”

I was only acting the fool but you should have seen the way her pupils dilated. I think it was the first time it dawned on her that the man I bring home may not be Nigerian. She said something I don’t dare repeat and told me to get out…which I did rather promptly. Fast forward to 2011 and all I hear from her is “God will give you the right person.” “It doesn’t matter where he’s from.”  It’s funny how desperation for a grandchild has made her relax her standards.  It’s fine by me because I now know that even if I bring home a goat, as long as it has the ability to impregnate me, there will be no arguments.

One of my Nigerian girlfriends is currently engaged to a Swedish guy. When they got engaged, a mutual friend of ours made a comment that got me thinking. She said “I’d been thinking of who I’d hook her up with when the relationship ended.” Her comment implied a number of things but one of them was that she didn’t think the relationship was serious because of their different ethnicities.

I watched the movie ‘Something New’ over the weekend. Sanaa Lathan’s character went on a blind date and when she found out her date was was white, she looked like she’d just been diagnosed HIV positive.

What is it about interracial relationships that make people so uncomfortable and sceptical?

I’ve heard all sorts of arguments from cultural differences, to slave trade, to black people who date white people are ashamed of their race, to white women only date black men for the sex (that famous myth) and money (think sports stars). I could go on and on but whatever the reason, there are people who are vehemently opposed to interracial relationship and for the life of me, I cannot understand why. It’s one thing to have a personal preference but when you decide others have to abide by your own principles, I reckon you’re having a Hitler moment. Back up and come again.

So tell me, have you ever and would you ever date someone of a different race?