Nollywood

Supernatural Things

Miracles-Happen

Supernatural things happen in this world; deaf people regain their hearing, the blind see, the lame walk, the dead are raised back to life, I am writing this post…and I cried watching a Nollywood movie. Not ‘a lone tear escaped my tear gland’ type of crying, proper crying, complete with sniffles and things. That I was not alone when it happened completed my shame. I blame that Mercy Johnson, her crying spirit leapt out of my laptop and entered me. Now I know that it is time to stop watching those movies, evil spirits abound therein.

The last few weeks I’ve been running into random people that read my blog and I tell you, I’m surprised that you people still bother to visit this site given how sporadic my posts have been. See what I was saying about supernatural things happening in this world? God bless you all and abundantly too!

It’s was my birthday last Saturday (this isn’t me begging for birthday greetings, walahi!) and for the first time in a very long time, I decided not to just sit at home, drink tea and estimate how many more years I have till I can no longer get away with wearing hot pants. Not that I wear hot pants, I don’t have the legs or courage for them but a girl is allowed to dream, no? I dragged a bunch of my friends to a private hip hop dance class and we left the studio with sweat, aching muscles and choreography to Usher’s Yeah.  Shame will not allow me post the videos on here.

On the topic of things one should or shouldn’t wear, my poor Pastor suffered from a severe case of melancholy when his eyes beheld some of the latest fashions at my wedding. So much so that it found its way into the sermon he preached at church the following day…not that I was there to hear it. I was holed up in a hotel room staring at my band clad finger and trying to understand how I ended up married to a man I always thought would make a great husband for some girl, that girl not being me of course! See what I was saying about supernatural things happening?!

Lest I digress, most of the people who were at the wedding and heard the sermon were surprised by it and when I looked through my wedding pictures, though I did spot a couple of sexy dresses, I couldn’t find any that I deemed scandalous. It got me thinking about the times and how we change with them, sometimes rightly and sometimes to our detriment.

There are some clothes sitting in my wardrobe now that I would never have bought, let alone worn, a few years ago. My lover girl MrsOhgee (see how I’ve upgraded you!) found an old picture of herself wearing jeans under a dress that stopped just above her knees and though we laughed at how ridiculous she looked, it symbolised the point we were discussing. In those days, she considered a dress that stopped just above her knees too short but today, she would wear that same dress, legs commando, and not think twice about it. A demonstration of how we relax our standards over time. Sigh.

Speaking of relaxer, the other day I ventured into Toni & Guy to find out how much it would cost to relax and trim my hair. I showered the receptionist with saliva when she gave me a quote of £130. The shock was that shocking.  I blamed the splutter on ‘that blasted hay fever’ and apologised profusely. I guess I’m not a big enough girl yet to be venturing into such establishments. I shall respect myself and my pocket and nosey on down to Upton Park or Burnt Oak. Better still I might just invest in a second mirror so I can see the back of my head and do the thing myself. One day, I will be great.

On a final supernatural note, and people, it’s a big one, my consumption of Indomie has fallen by 80% in the last six months!!! Somebody needs to get on up out of their chair, throw their hands up in the air and wave ‘em like they just don’t care!!! This is a serious miracle, more miraculous than me collecting aso-ebi for your wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I still LOVE Indomie and that ain’t ever gonna change (Lawdy, my hubby has infected me with his American spirit!) but the desire to consume the stuff all day everyday has faded into nothingness.

If I didn’t know my husband was a praying man before, now I know!!!

XxX

Waila

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The Crazy Proposal and The Psychotic Girlfriend

A couple of years ago when I first moved into my current flat, I was forced to live life without a television. I couldn’t get a signal on my TV and my landlord kept promising to sort it out. Four months after I moved in, I decided to stop waiting for him and sort it myself. It was in those four months I fell in love with Nollywood movies courtesy of YouTube. For those of you who don’t know, Nollywood is to Nigeria, what Bollywood is to India…only bigger. If stats be believed, Nollywood is the second largest movie industry in the world. That’s a big deal. It’s nowhere near Hollywood where quality is concerned but it gets 10/10 for its entertainment value. Be it at the acting, the witty banter or the soundtracks, you’ll be plenty amused.

A few days ago I watched a movie called ‘Lady’s Gang’ on YouTube. It’s one of those movies that doesn’t make much sense but I watched it anyway and it was worth it! There were a couple of golden moments in the movie that I just have to share with you guys.

The first is a scene where a guy gets into an argument with his girlfriend, gives her a resounding slap and then pops the question. I know guys try and find creative and unique ways of proposing but I’ve never heard of anyone who agreed to marry a man right after he slapped her.  I can’t find the words to do the scene justice so I’ll let you watch it for yourselves.  You will have to select the ‘watch on youtube’ option due to copyright restrictions but it’s only a two minute clip and worth the extra click.

The next scene I thought I’d share is one where a girl takes on her boyfriend and his mother. The mother in question is THE mother-in-law from hell, the boyfriend, a mummy’s boy and the girlfriend,  a psycho. This scene had me in stitches. The actress speaks a bit of Yoruba in the dialogue which makes it even funnier. Again, you will have to select the ‘watch on youtube’ option due to copyright restrictions but it’s only a two minute clip and worth the extra click. Enjoy!

You’ve just got to love Nollywood!!!

xxx

Waila

p.s.

By the by, I’m trying to get my hands on a copy of ‘Keeping Faith’ starring Genevieve Nnaji and Richard Mofe-Damijo. If you can, please help!