Waila is Getting Married!!!

Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.


On the left hand ring finger now sits a stunning bit of bling and yes, I can’t stop staring at it!!!

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not keen on weddings. It’s ironic that I now find myself in this position. I warn you in advance, if I don’t do things the way you are used to, don’t be surprised. The biggest shock of all is that for someone who swore not to have a traditional Nigerian wedding, I am super excited about tying a wrapper round my chest and having coral beads in my hair Benin style. Friends, be ready to tie your wrappers round your chests. Your days of sewing funky styles with aso-ebi are OVER! *evil laugh*

As expected, the whole world has been asking how it happened and blogging about it is my way of telling the story ONLY ONCE. 🙂

I’d always said to my gentleman friend (must find him a new name) that I didn’t want a public proposal. I wanted something super private with just the two of us involved. I’m not one for ceremony, pomp and pageantry so I didn’t want any fuss…and I got what I wanted…and it was super special. 🙂

We’d been talking seriously about getting married in the last three weeks and as soon as he called my mum to give her the speech, the planning started. It was a little weird because my mother was busy planning my traditional wedding and asking me about colours and fabrics but I couldn’t  tell anyone about it because I didn’t have a ring. As the plans for the wedding were in motion, I knew the proposal was on its way. I’m a VERY helpful person so I figured I’d give the gentleman friend a hand picking out the ring. He couldn’t believe it when I sent him a link to the ring I wanted but I promised him I’d act surprised when he got round to presenting it so I hope that lessened the shock. LOL. Even worse, I knew when he’d ordered the ring because when I went on the website to check, my size was no longer in stock. The website offered free next day delivery so three days later when he still hadn’t popped the question, I got a little jittery. Forgive me, patience isn’t one of the virtues I currently possess. *hides face*

Yesterday I found myself in a mall and somehow, my feet found their way to a jewellery store. There were two rings I’d been torn between and as I walked in, the first ring I noticed was the Option B I’d decided against. When I saw the ring in the flesh, it was love at first sight. I knew he’d bought the other ring though so what to do?! Call him of course! Lol. I told him I wasn’t sure which one I wanted anymore. The poor guy sighed, asked where I was and came to pick me up from the mall. We drove to his house and he went upstairs to ‘get something’.

I was waiting for him at the foot of the stairs and lo and behold, he appeared holding a box in his hand. We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity… and then burst out laughing. We couldn’t stop laughing for a good 10mins. When we finally composed ourselves, he went down on one knee and I tell you, the atmosphere changed.

Suddenly he turned serious and I was blushing like the sun sits on my cheeks.  Even though I knew he was going to propose, when he got down on one knee, I promise you, I was in shock! He was nervous as heck; his hands were unsteady; but he gave the most eloquent speech of his life and l REMEMBER EVERY WORD!!!

The rest as they say, is history.

He had a nice romantic proposal all planned. He was going to turn up outside my house early this morning, sprinkle rose petals on the path to my door and have a bunch of flowers waiting for me so that when I opened the door to head out to work, I’d get the shock of my life. Sorry for ruining that plan babe! Lol.

After he proposed, I still had the dilemma of which ring to settle for. In the end we went to the store together and the moment I put the option B on, I knew it was the one.

How crusty does my skin look?! LOL.

Ladies and gentlemen, I AM GETTING MARRIED!!!



It’s His Birthday, MARRY HIM!!!

My friend CrawCraw is one of those people who try as you may, you cannot hate. Guys think she’s a breath of fresh air, girls want to hang out with her and parents wish they gave birth to her.  Every parent bar my mother, The General, that is. The General’s heart overflows with gratitude to God that CrawCraw isn’t her daughter. If she were, she wouldn’t be able to marry her off to my brother G, I mean, that would be incestuous.

CrawCraw and The General get on like a house on fire. She is the only friend I have who calls The General every now and again to check up on her. I would be worried but I know I’m irreplaceable. I may have my issues but it’s not easy to discard a child who even a blind man can tell is yours. That is the only thing I have over CrawCraw and the reason my inheritance remains safe.

 The General is no fool, pikin wey resemble goat no be goat, na pikin. She knows CrawCraw can never be her biological daughter so she is willing to settle for daughter-in-law and has launched a campaign to get CrawCraw and G to the altar.

Over the holidays, CrawCraw was being her usual self entertaining MamaGuy (my nan), my uncle, aunt and The General. MamaGuy asked my aunt ( in Urhobo) who CrawCraw is and she told her. The General, hearing her response, saw a golden opportunity and piped up.

“Waila’s friend? She is G’s wife! CrawCraw you will marry G, won’t you?!”

CrawCraw’s eyes flew open like a window in a hurricane and she won’t admit it but I tell you, those eyes lit up! That was when I clutched the wall for support. Suddenly I started remembering random moments; G’s frequent inquiries about CrawCraw’s welfare, CrawCraw frequent inquiries about G’s welfare, G teasing CrawCraw, CrawCraw pretending she can do without G’s attention. It all made sense!

At first it seemed like a crazy idea but after giving it a second thought, I can see it working. If CrawCraw marries G, I won’t have to worry about getting along with my sister-in-law. CrawCraw is very family orientated so I will be able to spend G’s money without his wife pulling a face like rotten okra. My nieces and nephews would have a decent chance of having hair and there would be someone to teach them that walking around with skin like cracked leather is not a good look…not even on cows.  

G turns 30 today and is by Nigerian standards, a prime candidate for marriage. He comes from a good home, has a good job, is Christian and a credible future candidate for the Nigerian Presidential seat. He is also a British citizen so Downing Street is a plausible alternative, albeit with slimmer financial prospects. Plus let’s not kid ourselves, that red kpali is hella attractive!

So Mina, WILL YOU MARRY HIM?!?!?! It’s his birthday, go on, say yes!

G, you can thank me later.